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Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Just so random...

Ah Shahirah...This is especially for you...Pretty random.

X.X.X.X.X.

What is this feeling? I am not seeing anything though my eyes are open.

What is happening? I cannot feel, but my hands are touching.

Why? What is darkness trying to tell me?

“Damn it!”

I hear someone scream in pain. A voice so familiar yet so foreign. Who? ‘Urgh, this pain…Why? How? I’m bleeding…’

“F*** you Gabriel! F*** you!”

Who is ‘Gabriel’? What is happening out there? I want to know! Let me see and know! ‘Damn this pain to the abyss…why can’t I be allowed to see?’

“Odervershank…brother, you’ve lost…”

Was there a fight? Gabriel is a brother to whom? Why does the name ‘Gabriel’ sing some familiarity to me?

I pound and scream in distress as I tried all the different ways of getting out. How can they imprison me? What wrong have I done? Even as I scream and kick and punch, all my attempts were futile. Just where am I? I need to help ease the fight!

“Gabriel, f*** off! How dare you call me your brother?!”

Why can’t this silly idiot see that his brother wants to help him? Please, oh merciful darkness, help me out of this nonsense! Let me solve their dispute!

As if god heard me, I was suddenly teleported elsewhere.

Squeezing and slowly opening my eyes, I turned my head around. The pain that shot through my body when I lifted my head was extremely unbearable.

Why does my body hurt? Why am I having breathing difficulties?

Pushing myself off the ground, I realized how the land before me looked. So much craters of all sizes and depths. It was as if all the natural disaster occurred here. Looking down to survey myself…The unspeakable horror that clouded me. It was as if a heavy weight had fallen upon my two shoulders.

Why am I bleeding? What happened? Why are there so many dead bodies? Who are they? So many questions without an answer.

“Brother, let me tell you something…” this brown haired man came. Reaching out his hands, he pulled back as if it was a wrong thing to do.

“You…? Who are you?” I stammered. All the pain to work my lungs and dry lips to speak those words. I could already feel my lungs wheezing as if a balloon was deflating fast.

“Brother…Odervershank, I’m your brother…” he looked at me with those soft blue eyes.

Was that pity in those eyes? I…I honestly do not need his pity…My brother…? Do I even have one? Have I lost my identity?

I pulled and threw myself against a very weakened but firm tree. I could have sworn I probably broke a few of my brittle bones. I leaned heavily as if my entire being rested on how long I could lean on that tree. “Who are you? Who am I?” I practically shouted but all that came out was a breathless whisper.

“I’m Gabriel your younger brother. You’re Odervershank, mother’s first child,” he spoke after a while and took a step closer to me. We were less than a meter away.

Why is everyone looking away? Are they somehow…No! I do not need their pity. Be it as it may that I’m dying but I’ll definitely kill someone!

He continued to walk to me, tears glistening in those azure eyes.

I was wrong. It isn’t pity but sadness. The kind of sadness that you experience when you lost someone.

“Brother please…” he cried and those precious tears slid down the sides of his porcelain face, “This war…it’s pointless! Please call back the forces. Mother had long died…She died before we declared war!”

Then it hit me like…It somehow shut down my entire nervous system. All this trapped memories resurfaced, swimming and slamming into my skull.

“Argh! So much pain…!” I yelled hoarsely as I clutched my head in pain.

That is true…I am Le Chevalier de Sorcière Légendaire, the Legendary Sorceress Knight. I serve my queen; Queen Gastrania. My mother is my queen. Yes, Gabriel…I remember now. Gabriel the bloody bastard who turned around and stab his mother. Yes, that cruel bastard…That heartless traitor.

Letting go of my head slowly, I looked up and gave him a twisted grin. “Yes, I remember you now, bastard.” I took a step forward and away from that life-depending tree. Picking and swinging my sword, I slashed myself. Startled gasp escaped so many mouths. I smiled. Patting his shoulder, I looked into the eyes of my brother. Azure eyes met emerald eyes. “You grew up right, lil brother,” I smiled and ruffled his hair, “Just…just like…how it used to…” I collapsed. Heavy eyelids fluttered to a close as I drifted and slipped into total emptiness.

I was back where I started. In this endless abyss. I guess this is where I trully belong…No, I’m moving on. As I was pulled through this abyss, memories of my life pasted the darkening walls…So much regret, so much pain. Endless sacrifices in the name of love. The love I have for my mother…yes, the pain, the price and sacrifices…I’ll suffer them all.

Will I ever be Forgiven? | 6:07 AM